For those whom have divorced, at what point did it become clear to you that divorce was inevitable?

Was it a sudden revelation or was it a slow, arduous revelation? At what point did you decide your marriage was not able to be fixed?





I'm not meaning to pry here and if you aren't comfortable sharing please don't. I'm just doing a lot of my own questioning and I need other insights. Thank you.For those whom have divorced, at what point did it become clear to you that divorce was inevitable?
This is a real good question. It took me years to realise my marriage was not doing either of us any good. Having children made this much worse. Not having a money-earning job made it almost impossible.


Looking back I know I should have got out much sooner. I just didn't know that it was possible to do better. or that I could find the love and support I needed. I hated being so needy. Now I know it's okay to need.


Marriage should be a field of constant safety and affection. You want to come home from work because your best friend is there. You can say anything to your best friend and they are not offended. And you love to touch them and to have them touch you. You are close. You share. You laugh and play. You look after one another. You take an interest in each other's lives. You have something to offer each other. You feel big in their company. They build you up, They tell you things you need to work on. You accept this gratefully because you know you are loved. You believe them when they say, 'I love you.'


I suspected but didn't believe it was possible to have this. Now I do and will accept nothing less. This you deserve.


Enjoy your life. It's important. For everyone's sake.For those whom have divorced, at what point did it become clear to you that divorce was inevitable?
I married a nice man when I was 30. Unfortunately, he misled me. He said he had had drinking problems some years back, but not anymore. I was so in love I believed him.





After 7 years of trying to deal with his alcoholism, I got a severe depression and my parents had to hospitalize me.





It was during this hard time that I had to admit to myself that he was not going to change, he was not willing to admit he had a drinking problem, and he was not going to make me or our kid happy. So I decided to separate.





I was separated for a year...and when I saw that he had done nothing to get help, I asked for a divorce. I guess in my case it was a slow, arduous revelation....and the point of no return was both my illness and the year I spent apart in which he did nothing to try to convince me he was willing to change.





I had to choose between a miserable marriage or my health and sanity. I chose myself and my child. And I do not regret it one bit.





This was 7 years ago, and fortunately we have a civil relationship for our kid's sake. He is a good man; but alcohol changes him. And I stopped respecting him as a man after seeing him in terrible conditions. He still drinks, by the way.



After three years into my first marriage this is how it went : I woke up, while he was already at work. I looked at my stained ';pop corn ceiling'; and a fly was stucked there !';


I called my friend, told her : ';I'm ready, it's time to move on';. She came, helped me pack my things, I left the money for the rent of that month to my ex and never looked back.


Till this day, I think, the fly stucked in the pop corn ceiling, was a sign. I moved on and never ever wanted to look point blank into any popcorn ceiling again.
Well, I thought walking in on my husband laying with another woman was the last straw. But I was nieve and allowed him to talk me into giving him another chance. I tried, and saw that he was a pathological liar and he was still being with other women. At that point I realized that this is it. I didn't deserve this treatment, and I could no longer allow myself to be treated this way. I filed for divorce the next day.
I had so many signs but the fact is I knew way before I could deal with it. I knew and didn't want to know if that makes sense...and the thing is whether you want to deal with things or not--they come back to bite you no matter what so....the best thing to do is to look at things for what they are instead of what you want them to be...be honest with yourself and realize that people don't really change...they are who they are.
For me there were little signs, and yes it took a while. But if I had to select the ';final straw'; was the night she told me she was going out of town with her mother and her man friend. When I said that was not a good idea, she laughed and said she was going. So I left and never looked back.
My ex always threatened me with divorce when we got into fights. So eventually I stopped trying to argue with her and told her if she wants a divorce so bad then go out and get one. After a while she then cheated on me and that's when I had enough of her crap and divorced her.
Mine was pretty instantaneous. On my honeymoon night (we weren't schedule to go out of town for 2 more days) he sat at the computer all night long. No romance and no sex. I did end up sticking it out for 4 yrs but in retrospect I knew at that moment that he was my soon-to-be ex husband.
When I divorced my first husband. He cheated on me once. I didn't leave him because I loved him. He cheated on my twice and I was gone like yesterday. Once the respect for one another was gone...so was the marriage.
When my ex accused me of something I didn't do. The fact he did this without any solid evidence convinced me he was no longer husband material.
The second time she left and I told her she needed to decide what she wanted. She said divorce, she paid for it and I am moving on now. She said no longer could love me.
When he told me the relationship wasn't the most important thing going on in HIS life.
When I lost ALL sexual desire for him....
I thought there might be hope until she moved in with her boyfriend with my daughter. What a whore!
When he told me to get down
When I realized that he wasn't willing to try and make it work....then I knew that we were finished.